August 11, 2002

Yes . . . I know. I’m probably the last person in America to have received the e-mail message republished below. Nonetheless, I thought it was interesting and since this is my site, I’ll do what I want to. And I’ll add my own comments as well!

Did you know . . . ?

Butterflies taste with their feet. [So? What’s to taste? Rotting leaves?]

A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why. [I don’t know about this. That damned AFLAC duck’s quack is echoing through my brain as I write this.]

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world’s nuclear weapons combined. [Yes, but nuclear weapons aren’t aimed at trailer parks.]

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year. [Mr. Nader, call your office.]

Ninety percent of New York City cab drivers are recently arrived immigrants. [Tell me about it!]

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. [Tell me about it!]

Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump. [Thank God.]

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older. [I hope I’m not one of them.]

It’s possible to lead a cow upstairs . . . but not downstairs. [Reminds me of my Bulldog.]

Women blink nearly twice as much as men. [All that crying, no doubt.]

It’s physically impossible for you to lick your elbow. [Oh yeah? . . . Oh . . . yeah.]

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of the books that would occupy the building. [Figures . . . Hoosiers.]

A snail can sleep for three years. [Big deal. So can I.]

No word in the English language rhymes with “month.” [Of interest only to tortured female adolescents writing bad poetry, much of which ends up in small Midwestern literary reviews because no one can tell a good poem from a bad poem anymore.]

Or “orange.” [Ditto.]

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. [No kidding. Ever seen a photo of Abe Vigoda?]

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. [Yes, and the dentist’s drill was invented by Dr. Mengele.]

All polar bears are left-handed. [Not a single switch-hitter in the bunch, huh?]

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked every hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes. [I guess they didn’t have to spend much time hearing confessions.]

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. [Can’t the same be said of President Bush?]

“Typewriter” is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. [Cool, but that still doesn’t justify the stupid placement of all of the keys.]

“Go,” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. [And the name of one of the best movies I’ve ever seen.]

If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall. [And I would still be intimidated by her.]

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. [Does it really matter?]

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day. [Each or collectively?]

Almost everyone who reads this will try to lick his elbow. [I don’t think so. Not my readers.]


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