June 18, 2003
KILLING SIMS


Nichole Dulin of Passenger Pachyderms shares my pain. My pain when it comes to those damn Sims, that is.


Nichole writes:


I also seem to be missing that inner game-geek. My attempts to play The Sims seem to rapidly deviate from the game’s goals to my own personal missions.


For example, while “living” with a particularly useless housemate by the name of Mimi, I changed my goal from trying to get promoted and move out to trying to render Mimi non-functional.


I didn’t let her eat, sleep, have fun, talk to people, or bathe. All she did was work and cry. Until she got fired. Then all she did was cry and periodically attack my character. (Once the social rating drops to a dangerous level they get mean.)


This activity eventually resulted in Mimi’s death and a little Sim-reaper came to get her.


At this point you lose. But in my mind, I had won. The useless creator of dirty-dishes and piss-puddles had been defeated. Go me!


Who says you have to play by their rules?


Now, not only is Nichole’s missive funny in its own right, it’s particularly hilarious to me because I had problems with exactly the same character, the dreaded Mimi.


While last playing The Sims I grew to hate Mimi with a visceral hate. However, unlike Nichole, hard as I tried, I couldn’t kill Mimi off. I wanted her dead, gone, burned. And yet she remained forever on the screen, wailing and moaning and griping without let up.


I tried to please her, but with no success.


Mimi was hungry. I prepared a meal. She wouldn’t sit long enough to eat it.


Mimi was tired. I sent her to bed or had her sit down. She got up immediately.


Mimi wanted to go to the bathroom. I sent her there but she wouldn’t do her business and instead peed on the living room floor.


For me, that was the last straw. Like Nichole’s, my strategy changed. It was “Sayonara, Mimi!”


Mimi was hungry, I tried to starve her. Mimi had no money, I kept her at home away from work. Mimi wanted fun, I turned friends away at the door.


But she would not die!


I was so disappointed. Eventually, I gave up.


You know, I really am afraid to go back there.

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