July 16, 2003

Wow, the whole “PNP” -- that stands for “pee and poop” -- situation in Philadelphia is worse than I thought.

Philadelphia Daily News reporter Dan Geringer, who has the job in American journalism that I thought was reserved for Roger Ailes -- no not the blogger of the same name who has posted wisely on this very subject, but that creep from Fox “News” -- reports today from West Philadelphia:

The Daily News Stinkmeister got a desperate call from Raoji Prajapati, who said, “I have a newsstand at Frankford and Oxford, under the Margaret-Orthodox El station. They’re urinating in my Coke machine and in my Pepsi machine. You reach in there for a soda, you don’t know what you’re touching.”

Grabbing his gas mask, the voice of the pee-and-poop-plagued public sped to Prajapati’s pee-stained newsstand.

The urine stench emanating from the two soda machines brought tears to S-Meister’s eyes.

So did the thought of reaching into those machines -- after Prajapati pointed out the urine stains near their delivery holes.

The space between the machines was soaked in fresh urine.

Prajapati showed the Stinkmeister where pee ran around the base of his newsstand to where customers line up to buy papers, candy[,] and lottery tickets.

Then he pointed to nearby benches where the two leading urinators, Jimmy and Ray -- old school, weather-beaten, filth-encrusted guzzlers -- sat drinking amber liquid out of plastic Mountain Dew bottles.

“That’s not Mountain Dew,” Prajapati said. “That’s beer.”

When Ray stood up to stretch his legs, it was clear that he had defecated in his pants. He didn’t seem to be aware of it.

It’s a dirty job. I’m not really sure someone has to do it, but it’s still a dirty job.


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