December 23, 2003

Ignorant as I am of popular culture and the people who populate and patronize it, I was a bit out of my element when I read “Norristown’s Bello Plays it ‘Cooler’ Than Usual” in Monday’s Philadelphia Daily News.

I don’t know who Maria Bello is, and frankly, I don’t care. What I do know from reading reporter Laura Randall’s article is that Bello, at least as expressed through the interview with the PDN, is nothing more than a walking pile of clichés.

Discussing her latest role, that of a “down-and-out casino cocktail waitress” -- Is there any other kind? -- in a movie called “The Cooler,” Bello tells Randall, “As soon as I read the script I knew I had to play Natalie. You rarely read a woman’s role that has that sort of full character to it,” repeating one of Hollywood’s favorite myths.

The heretofore unknown, at least around this operation, Bello is angry that all the world will not see “a glimpse” of her pubic hair, that 1.5-second element deleted from the final cut in order for the film to secure an “R” rating from the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA).

Bello dribbles:

It doesn't make me angry at the MPAA. They have certain guidelines they adhere to. The problem is with the American public and what they deem as irresponsible for kids to see. We’re so puritanical in this country the way that we view sexuality, while violence is just a matter of fact.

Gosh, Maria, thanks. Never heard that before.


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