January 14, 2004

I don’t know whether kids today still say, in Art Linkletter’s immortal words, “the darndest things,” but I know my nieces and nephews do.

Here are just a few from my nephew C. (6, today! Happy Birthday!):

“God, please take all the bad people, open up their heads, take all the bad stuff out, and put good stuff into their brains and close up their heads. Amen.”

“Mom, when I grow up I’m going to cut down a million trees and make the Little Town of Burger King.”

“Mom, Mom, Mom, look at me! Watch and learn.”

“Mom, Mom, look! Cookie [a family cat] did a somersault. . . . Besides, what is a somersault?”

“Mom, this is the boringest Mother’s Day of my life.”

“Mom, we need a bigger house. With not so much wood, and more plastic.”

“You’ve just got to pause and sniff the flowers.”

“Mom, what if giant butter attacked the world?”

“Mom, what if all the cars going in that direction were coming toward us in our direction?”

To Mom and Dad: “I’m just sick and tired.” Mom and Dad: “Why?” To Mom and Dad: “Because I have to listen to the two of you talking to me at the same time.”


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