Trends Reviews and Recaps

Great news (if it’s true): Paris Hilton is going away. Newsweek reports Hilton says she plans to give up her public life in two years, the impending obligations of marriage and, yikes, parenthood, getting in the way.

Says the blonde excuse for a human being: “I don’t enjoy going out anymore. It’s such a pain. It’s everyone saying, ‘Let’s do a deal! Can I have a picture?’ I’m just, like, ‘These people are such losers. I can’t believe I used to love doing this.’”

I can’t believe anyone was paying attention.