July 19, 2002

There is an English Bulldog at an animal shelter in Texas that needs a home.

I would grab her in a second, but Texas is a bit far from here.

She sounds like a great dog. She has been described to me as “a pretty brindle fat girl . . . sweet, housebroken, and seems to love everyone.” Much like my beloved Mildred, including the “fat” part, though we prefer the word “curvaceous.” (She is snoring, loudly, as I write this.)

If you’re not familiar with the breed, I could sing praises on its behalf for an eternity.

English Bulldogs are friendly, kind, loving, loyal, strong, tenacious, and comical -- sources of endless entertainment.

The Bulldog isn’t really a dog. It’s a mixture of a vast variety of species: part dog, part cat, part rabbit, part pig, part hippo, part seal, part monkey, and part human. The Bulldog is everything you could ever want -- and then some.

They are great city/apartment dogs. They normally are very quiet, rarely bark, and they don’t need (actually, they don’t want) much exercise. They are, however, terrible watch/guard dogs. Unless you want intruders to be given a friendly and sloppy greeting, the Bulldog is not for you.

It’s true that they snore (though I find this very comforting somehow), burp, and fart a fair amount, but it’s a worthy trade-off. I have owned three Bulldogs over the years and believe the “conventional wisdom” that they are afflicted by more than their fair share of health problems to be somewhat mythological.

If you have any interest in this dog, or know someone who might, please send an e-mail to me at trrtrr@earthlink.net. The adopter would need to travel to Texas to be interviewed and to pick up the dog.



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