You laughed at me -- All of you, I just know it! -- when I told you I rarely cook, that I lost my plates and glasses when I moved seven weeks ago, that I have almost nothing to eat in my refrigerator and my cupboards, and that I store my old tax returns and cancelled checks in my unused oven.
(Okay, as I admitted before, the thing about the oven is a lie, but it’s a pretty good line, I think.)
And now here comes world-renowned blogger Kim Osterwalder, named by The Guardian (Published in England!) as one of America’s very best -- “bright” and “intelligent” they said of her -- with her tales of Thanksgivings past, including the low-fat Thanksgiving (Hello?! Oxymoron, anyone?), her vegetarian Thanksgiving (Ditto that!), the traditional Thanksgiving, and her “all from scratch” Thanksgiving.
The last of these apparently led the inestimable Ms. Osterwalder to bake bread five days before Thanksgiving so she would have plenty of that crusty stuff that is used to prepare the stuffing.
Osterwalder, whose weblog is called Free Pie -- I just knew from the start that some corporation, probably General Mills or Pillsbury, maybe Sara Lee, was behind this entire guilt-trip-inducing project! -- says, “It was exhausting. It was the best food I have ever eaten anywhere. And I have eaten some good food.”
Well, Miss Kim, just go ahead and pat yourself on the back, but let me be the one to say that if you’re baking bread on Saturday for a meal on Thursday, it damn well ought to be the best food you’ve ever had! (Oh, and, um, Kim, are you sure you’re really that far from Philadelphia?)
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