March 01, 2003
MILDRED

The Two-Eyed, One-Tailed, Lying, Stupid Poo-Poo Eater


Those of you without dogs are probably -- and blissfully, I might add -- unaware that dogs are prone to eating pooh.


Not only that but I've come to learn, from research in which I would have rather not engaged, that rabbit poop is considered by many dogs to be a particularly delightful treat. (More about that another day. Or never.)


It's really not a problem, nor is it a health hazard, provided the dog eats its own pooh.


My Bulldog Mildred, I'm ashamed to say, has in the past been a pooh-eater. Thankfully, I guess I'm supposed to interject here, Mildred has feasted solely upon her own excrement, and only, of course, when I'm not watching.


Before I started blogging I referred to this bizarre propensity on her part as "Mildred's Secret Shame." No secrets anymore, girl!


And now I'm sorry to report that Mildred is eating her pooh again.


Let's make the best of it, shall we?


Sing along!


She's a two-eyed, one-tailed, lying, stupid poo-poo eater,


Two-eyed, one-tailed, lying, stupid poo-poo eater . . .


[Post-publication addendum (March 6): Lyrics altered slightly on second thoughts.]

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