August 19, 2003

Okay, so you’re hanging out, playing basketball at, oh, let’s say in the gym at the county jail. And then all of a sudden, you’re getting wet. It feels like rain, or a leaky pipe, or something. Only it’s not rain, or a leaky pipe, or something. It’s pee. You’re playing basketball in the jailhouse gym and someone is peeing on you from above. And that someone is one of the guards. Well, actually two of the guards.

This really happened.

Not to me of course, but to a group of inmates at the Greene County Jail in Springfield, Mo.

According to the Associated Press (“Ex-Guard Sentenced for Peeing on Inmates,” August 19):

A former guard was ordered to scrub toilets while serving 15 days behind bars for urinating from a roof onto inmates playing basketball. . . . Justin Hastings, 23, also was given two years of probation and 150 hours of community service. He was convicted in June of four counts of assault. [Ed.: A second guard was punished separately.]

You know that’s just mean. Really mean. The peeing part, I mean, not the punishment.


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