January 26, 2004
THE ALARM! THE ALARM!


Hey, wait a second, the fire/emergency alarm is going off in my building!


You know? How do you know? It can’t be because there’s a large assembly of residents in front of the building, for, as usual, there is none.


Well, maybe there are some new people here. Everyone else knows better.


Me, I’ve heard this hundreds of times. I know enough not to go anywhere.


Mildred? Well, she’s sleeping on my bed, a room in which is piped, with annoying frequency, and along with the daily exhortations of Kim Jong-Il, the warning, “There has been a report of an emergency. Proceed calmly to the nearest exit and leave the building immediately. Do not use the elevators, use stairwells where necessary.”


It’s obvious she’s going nowhere.

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