June 19, 2006

It's hot as hell in Philadelphia again, repeating the charms of Memorial Day weekend, and so on Saturday I bought a window fan. Actually, a "twin window fan, with thermostat," from a manufacturer known as The Holmes Group Inc.

What a mistake.

I can blow harder than this twin window fan, with thermostat. And I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day.

I'm proud, however, to say that I was able to install the unit and get it up and running without reading the owner's guide, which is little more than a pamphlet.

Just as well, since when I perused the guide later, I became thoroughly confused.

On one page I read (quoting directly and exactly):

Fan Blade and Front Grill Cleaning

1. Using a phillips head screwdriver, remove the screws that hold the front and rear grills together. Carefully opposite the built in extenders. Do not completely detach the grills as this may damage the extender clips. Separate only enough to gain access to the blades with one hand.

2. Clean blades and grills with a soft, moist cloth (see above).

3. Securely fasten the grills together.

And on the very next page, as part of the "troubleshooting guide," I read:

Issue: My Window Fan has become very dirty.

Potential Cause: Fan may need to be cleaned.

Potential Solution: First unplug the fan from the outlet. The outside of the fan can be wiped down with a damp cloth. Use a vacuum cleaner with a dust brush attachment or a can of compressed air to remove dust from any hard to reach areas. Please note: Holmes window fans cannot be taken apart to be cleaned. [Emphasis added.]

Okay, so I pulled out that screwdriver, removed the screws, carefully opposited the built in extenders (Huh?), kept myself from completely detaching the grills, and separated them just so, and for what?


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