July 10, 2002

This is a life lesson.

Be careful what you write in your e-mail messages and to whom you send them, particularly if you have a history of making a complete spectacle of yourself.

A young Chicago woman last month, a certain Jacqueline Kim, went out on a first date with one Casey O’Brien. The next morning, beside herself with delirium, Ms. Kim went into the office and sent no fewer than 29 people a breathless account of the evening (well, and sort of the morning as well). Despite a vain (And we mean that!) attempt to cast herself in a positive light, the portrait Ms. Kim draws is that of a woman of heretofore unknown selfishness and shallowness.

Herewith, three brief excerpts from Ms. Kim’s account of this enchanted evening (the leaked e-mail may be read in its entirety at f company.):

“By the way, as for myself, I get an overall A+ for how damn cute I looked. I sported a pair of fun longer Capri pants from Guess in a darker khaki color with my white shirt from Hanger 18 that has my lower back showing with my new cute fitted black jacket with empire sleeves from Armani. I was a BABE. He didn’t stand a chance. My worries of not being cute were so swept under the rug with the outfit I pulled off last night. . . .

“The date ended with me getting intoxicated but not like crazy intoxicated, but I was drunk. No hangovers. I’m assuming he was fairly intoxicated but since he was driving, I didn’t want to know, so I never asked. . . .

“So, question is, where do I stand on the whole outlook of Mr. Casey O’Brien and the date...The car, the money, the job, the cute apartment, the boat, which by the way only seats 6 people, so I really don’t consider that really amazing, his mannerism [sic] and his great kiss will probably lock in another date but...I can tell you now unless he cuts his hair and sends me gifts, it won’t lead me to seek anything more than my 1st 30 year old FRIEND (Oh by the way, I think he’s only 29, but still, I’m rounding up). Plus, the summer is just around the corner and guys are EVERYWHERE, I need to keep the options open and my schedule free to lock in some other great summer flings.”

Self-centered. Wears trashy outfits. Can’t hold her liquor. Awards points for possessions. No observations with respect to her date’s personality or character. What a catch.

Our advice to Mr. O’Brien: Run. Very quickly. In the other direction.

Our advice to Ms. Kim: Review the e-mail’s distribution list. Someone on it is not your friend. And don’t wait by the phone.


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