Trends Reviews and Recaps

They’ve been drinking -- legally, now -- for eight days.

In response, the Secret Service no doubt has doubled its presence in the Lone Star State. Local law enforcement officials and journalists have been reminded where their priorities appropriately lie during this, our war on terror.

And the The First Twins Countdown, which previously marked the time until Jenna and Barbara Bush could -- in full compliance with state law -- slurp schnapps off the backside of the nearest frat boy, has been reset so that it counts the days until the nation’s premier party girls are, like their father, arrested for driving while intoxicated.

No reason to watch the clock, folks. It shouldn’t be long now.